I am who I am

Being a photographer has always been my dream. When I learned what a camera was and what it could do there was no stopping me. I wanted to move to New York and become a fashion photographer. I wanted a loft apartment, I wanted a big fluffy cat and I wanted to show the world how glamorous people really are. The first thing women would say to me before I took their picture was, “Make me look thin!” My reply to them would always stay the same, “Just trust me and I promise you will see what I see.”

There was a beautiful woman that approached me once about taking her pictures. It was her anniversary and she wanted to gift her husband with a photo of herself. You could tell she was a little nervous because she thought she was too heavy and I just told her to trust me. I’ll be a little honest, I was terrified to take her pictures. Not because I didn’t think she was beautiful, but because I wanted her to see what I saw. She radiated beauty just the way God had intended. Her photos not only came out beautiful but she loved them!

I realize now that God wants me to just trust him so I can see what he sees. I spent so much time trying to make other people feel pretty that I was completely missing out. A time came where I stopped taking pictures, I really can’t give a valid reason for it but the photographer that lives deep down inside is rearing to come back out. I’ve been faithful to the path that God laid down in front of me. On April, 29th of 2017, God gave me the calling to write. My first blog was posted on May 29th, exactly one month later.

I wanted to show the beauty of the world through a lens but God wanted me to show the beauty of his love through my words. I never imagined I would ever do something like this. Trying to stay faithful to the Lord has taken me places I’d never imagine. Making friends, keeping friends and having a best friend. (ah-man) The Lord gave me faith not only in other people but most important, faith in myself….

I’ve always been a visual person, and by that I mean I like to observe my surroundings. People watching is a past time not because I wanted to judge them but because I want to know them. I also want to learn the world and it’s beauty. Years ago I came across this barn on a trip when I visited Ohio. People may look at that barn and think it’s old or should be torn down. I look at that barn and I see a story that needs to be told. I’d like to think that once upon a time, that barn held lots of animals and was owned by a family that appreciated it. They loved that old barn so much that tearing it down wasn’t an option. I’d also like to think that God kept that barn together because he knew I would appreciate it.

This is who I am… I see light where there is darkness, I see beauty when you see ugly, I see opportunity when you see struggle and I see confidence when you see weakness. I see strength when you see fear and I laughter when you see tears. Being a serious person is not my strong suit. If someone is sad, then my instincts kick in and I want to make you see joy again. Embrace your struggles because they make you a better person. My struggles have made me a better person. Through my struggles I have learned how to keep my head up as high as I can.

Photography is and will always be something I love. I may not be famous for it but I appreciate the eye that God has given me. Just because I don’t have a camera right now doesn’t mean I still can’t see with my eyes. Taking what I’ve learned and applying it to everyday life is my main focus. If we do not love ourselves then we will never be able to show love. God has taken me down the path to share with you all his love and his grace. He has picked me up straight out of the mud and stood me back up on my feet. Sometimes falling victim to what the enemy tells us will happen from time to time. But what are we going to do about it? Are we going to cry about it and bring everyone else down with us or are we going to keep our heads up and let the love God has give us strength?

Now I understand why God led me to writing…. Even though I can express myself visually through my photos. Expressing myself through my words is proof in the pudding that if you just stay true to God & to yourself then there is nothing that can’t be accomplished. There is no telling what else God has in store for me but what I can tell you is I’m ready for it. Bring it on! I may crash & burn at this whole writing thing or I may not. If I can help one person realize how awesome God made them, then my job here is done. The Lord I try to serve on a daily basis is so faithful, he is so loving and he is so full of grace. There are days where I feel I have used up all the grace that is allotted to me but he just reminds me that it’s unlimited.

I’ve done a lot in this life that would warrant me a one way ticket to hell. Once upon a time my running joke was I would drive the bus that went to hell. There have been times I’ve thought that hell would be a vacation compared to this world and when the feeling of defeat consumes me, God holds me closer to him and he fights away the boogie man. Though my flesh wants to take pictures, my soul wants to write and my heart wants to stay faithful to the one person that has always stayed faithful to me. #God

I am who I am…

#thereaintnogravethatwillholdthisbodydown #Jesusismysavior #Heisyoursaviortoo

3 thoughts on “I am who I am

  1. I love this! I can see why God told you to write, you have an amazing gift with words. I love your tone and style. And your encouraging message. I have kind of a similar story. God told me in a dream that writing is my gift, and that I should write from home. I didn’t think much of writing before that, but afterward I started a blog too, and decided to make writing my career. Not even just on my blog, but also as an employee in a writing position. Thanks for sharing this lovely post with the world.

    Liked by 1 person

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