I just want to love Jesus..

About a year ago, a ministry at my church was started and it’s called the Silent Praise Team. We basically praise Jesus with our hands and not with our voices. We let the Holy Spirit completely take over and praise him like it’s our last time.

It’s meant so much to me to be a part of God’s vision and it’s brought me out of my comfort zone. If my job in heaven will be signing to music all day then I’ll take it. I’m not afraid to stand in front of people and praise God but I’m afraid of doing it where people can really see me. I don’t stand on the stage, I will stand on the floor.

About a year ago, I had the pleasure of serving at a women’s retreat. Despite what was going on in their lives, we all got together and served the Lord together. That weekend changed my entire life and that weekend God blessed me with a new friend. That weekend would be the very first time I would use sign-language(ish) to a song. Prior to this performance, I listened to that song 647 times a day. MINIMUM! Driving down the road, my hands were going everywhere. It’s so bad that to this day, I still can’t listen to that song without signing to it. God also blessed me with the best group of ladies in the whole wide world to serve with. We all had our parts to learn and I guarantee you, many of us were driving down the road with hands going all over the place. #hollyballpartnersforlife

Up until this point, I was so determined to nail that song that I had zero time to be nervous about it. It was by the grace of God that I didn’t pass out right there in front of everyone. The enemy tried to instill fear into me and there was NO way he was going to get in the way of that Holy Ghost high. I tell you what, we killed it. After it was all said and done, a woman that I barely knew but apparently knew me ran up to me, she gave me the best hug ever and told me that was my calling… that was when Jesus gave me my purpose. To praise him! Praise him the ways I know how to and don’t hold back.

“They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness.” Deuteronomy 6:5

It’s not just new every morning for me, it’s new for me every minute of the day. God shows up in a matter of seconds, I pray for the day I don’t have to worry about anything anymore and just sign for the Lord. To the same song… over & over again. Just when you think the song is over, it just keeps going. Forever!

As the weekend went on, I had another encounter with this new friend. She was laying on her face trying not to be mad at God. She loved him so much and she was fighting the enemy with everything she had. I was completely clueless on what exactly her struggle was at that moment because I didn’t realize who she was yet. I’d had only heard wonderful things about her and I knew a little of her story, but I hadn’t met her face to face yet. Just sitting on the floor next to her, I could feel the angels around her. The heaviness of her tears was tearing me up and the only thing I knew to do was try to make her laugh. She picked herself up off that floor with snot, makeup & whatever was on that floor, but she shined with the light of Jesus. What do I do? Lick my fingers like I was going to mama spit clean her face. Y’all should have seen the look she gave me! She knew me but she didn’t know me like that. I’m her favorite now so it’s cool.

After that weekend was over, we all piled in our cars and headed on the long journey home. Now, if you have ever spent a weekend with the Holy-Spirit, then you will know what a day of rest really means. As time went on, I knew God was pushing me to start my own team. No idea what I was doing but trusting the Lord is what “they” tell me to do and that’s what I did.

As time went on, I got to know my new friend and realized quick that she was my favorite. She has taught me a lot in the short time I’ve known her. When I found out who she really was then it made me love her even more. Prior to that weekend, her son went to be with Jesus. Not too much longer, her grandson went to be with Jesus. Through it all, the enemy has tried to use this against her, and God used it to empower her. When I find myself randomly smiling, I look around and there’s my friend. The joy of the Lord shines so bright that you feel it before she even comes in the room.

The Lord blessed me one night with watching her sign along with her daughter. That moment gave me the courage to really go to the next level with the ministry God called me to. I just want to praise Jesus, I don’t want to be seen but you have to see me and that terrifies me sometimes. This world can be so judgmental sometimes. As tough as I try to be, sometimes it cuts right through me. Then I remember what a very wise woman told me once. God never wants you to feel pain, sorrow or heart ache. God is love, he is joy, he is peace. He is calm… He is still…

Each day I wake up and I just want to be faithful to the Lord. Each day, I gain more courage to step out. God blessed me with my new friend. Through her ministry, I was able to give a piece of my testimony and guess what. I was standing on a stage praising the Lord. I love you my friend!

#blesstheLord #Ilovedunkindonutscoffeenow #Godissogoodyall

10 thoughts on “I just want to love Jesus..

  1. I absolutely LOVE hearing about, and witnessing people worship The Lord through gifts! God has given us a variety of gifts to be used for His glory, and it’s great to read that He is using you to praise His name through sign. It would be great to see you post a video on your blog! I think it would be a blessing to many..


  2. Those experiences with the Holy Spirit are so amazing! Until we really feel the Holy Spirit working, it is hard for Christians to understand how He works. Then when you have one of those experiences, it is hard to be able to wait for the next time!!! God bless you and your calling –


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.