That's all I wrote

When I don’t want to be seen, it’s when I want to be seen the most. When I run and hide from the world, I just beg for someone to reach out to me. These past few weeks have been hard for me and the harder it got, the more I started listening to the whispers of deceit. Choosing to play video games was a lot more fun than glorifying God for all the blessings he has given me. Becoming one with my flesh because I allowed other people to let me think I was fake, unworthy and an attention seeker. I’ve believed those lies my entire life and right now as you read my words, I am declaring in the Jesus name that the enemy is a friggin’ liar! It doesn’t matter what the days ahead have in store for me because I have Jesus on my side.

I used to be scared to show people that I loved Jesus. When I would see people praise the Lord all I could think is man that looks like it feels good. I wasn’t judging them; I was saluting them. How do I get there?!?! Well God said, “Leah, just hang on because it’s about to be a bumpy ride!” By staying as faithful as I possibly could to him, he continues to give me the courage to persevere through the storms. It’s okay to tell you that I’m not okay right now. Just because I have Jesus in my heart doesn’t mean I portray to be this perfect well together person. I’m not trying to fake my way through life by planting a smile on my face. I am merely showing you the love of Christ because no matter what life throws at me, he is a great reason to keep smiling.

People misconstrue me quite often and it use to bother me but now it makes me laugh. I’ve come to learn that not everyone thinks like me and sometimes there will be people that just flat out don’t like me. It’s okay really… I’m still praying for you because in heaven we are going to be BFF’s! Saying that I “dealt” with rejection is an understatement, I wasn’t dealing with it because I let it get the best of me. If I did deal with it then I’d probably be writing more than blogs by now. The only thing that stood in my way was myself. For every person who thinks I’m an idiot, there are ten people who think I’m pretty cool! There is an even bigger person that knows I’m cool and that’s God! His opinion is the only one that matters.

What it all boils down to is, keep trusting in the Lord. Don’t laugh at that statement, don’t say “You don’t know what I’m going through”, don’t roll your eyes and DON’T think that there isn’t any hope. Staying hidden away did nothing but hurt me even worse. Staying in bed rather than taking care of my kids, smoking weed instead of cleaning my house, letting other people pay my bills because I was too lazy to get a job. I’ve done unthinkable things just trying to get through life because I was too stupid to open my eyes and know that the Lord had my back.

Thinking back from where I was and where I am now isn’t the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen but like my dear friend tell says all the time. “I’m not where I need to be but I’m sure not where I use to be.” It’s a daily struggle for me sometimes and some days I feel like going on isn’t an option. The more I thank God for getting me through each day the easier it is to get through them. The more I praise the more the devil loosens his grip because good will always prevail over evil. The God I serve is so much bigger than hateful words, mean looks, whispers behind the back, judgement or rejection.

It seems to me that the more I try to be right with God the more my life seems to “fall apart” so to speak. While my life crumbles on the inside, the outside of me wants to take on more responsibility as a Christ follower. My whole thought process is, take something that is going wrong in your life and use it to glorify God. There is a woman that recently came into my life that is a true inspiration to me. The woman was losing her home y’all! She was down to the last three hours of being removed from her house and she’s all like, “God is so good!” The world needs more of that, the more you love and the more you trust, the less the world brings you down.

Recently, a lady left a comment on one of my signing videos that wasn’t very nice. The moment I read her words; they went straight to my heart. The whispers of the enemy turned into screaming. God whispered in my ear and told me to stop it. Her comment has now given me the motivation and brought of tons of ideas of future videos I’ll be posting! Shut it down and the enemy scurries away with his tail between his legs. Here lately I’ve let a lot of negative things consume my mind, words that are being spoken stick to me. If I keep hearing the same thing over then it must be true right? Lies…

If every person on this planet had the same mind set, then it would be boring. Everyone has a talent, something they are good at. The reason why we are miserable with our flesh is because we aren’t feeding it good things. Waking up and scrolling through Facebook isn’t going to make your start your day. I know because I’m guilty of it. Listening to my music and reading one verse in the bible would get me going a lot quicker than the typical drama you read every day on social media. Now, I fill my news feed with motivational words because I realized that it’s my responsibility to change my own situation. I control what I read, I control what I hear, and I control what I see.

When you submit to God and just sit still for a minute, he will fill you up with his love. I’m currently siting outside with my laptop listening to my praise & worship music. God has been talking to me through this entire blog and at one point I stopped, put my hands in the air and he just surrounded me. The wind blew all around me, I could fill his arms around me and I know he is proud. My goal from right now on is to keep pressing through, keep my head up and I’m going to keep on trucking down the path God is laying down for me.

The more I serve the Lord, the less the enemy must hold against me. God has placed people in my life that know when to reach out when they don’t hear from me. They know to be nosy when I get quiet, they know to drop by when I don’t answer the phone. They don’t give the enemy the option to get to me because that is what we do for one another. We stand up and fight for each other when one of us is falling. Half the time the one that fell before you soften the blow because they caught you on their way back up. It’s an endless cycle of love once you submit to it.

My name is Leah Riffe and I’m here to tell you that it will be okay. I promise!

#Godissogood #Jesus #Godsloveisreal #praisehim #healmeLord

My face when someone tries to tell me I’m not good enough!

9 Replies to “I am broken…”

  1. Such an awesome post. I have been fighting against the devil myself lately, and you are an inspiration to me. Thank you so much! I have to trust God, not me, not anyone else. God has my back, front and sides. He is all around us. He loves us more than we will ever know this side of Heaven. No matter what. Amen and hallelujah!

    Like

  2. Great post, Leah! I love your vulnerability and honesty in your post. I have been fighting lies from the enemy and some not-so nice people too. However, I encourage us to keep on keeping on! Keep on loving Jesus no matter what others think, because in the end only what He thinks will matter!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: