Godislove

I met Jesus at a pond!

/ Just Leah / 2 Comments
My pond!

One of my favorite places in the whole wide world is this pond that sits in the middle of nowhere. It’s surrounded by trees, it’s hidden, it houses many different creatures and at night you can hear frogs. It’s my pond! Well, I don’t own it but it’s my pond. This pond holds a very special place in my heart. I met Jesus at this pond!

My short-term memory is so bad that it affects my short-term memory. But there have been moments throughout my life that will always stick with me no matter what. The Pastor at the Church I attend gave an awesome sermon about being stuck in the mud. Walking away that Sunday, I felt convicted because I’d been stuck in the mud for a very long time. I have lived my life content for thirty-one…. okay thirty-eight years. When Jesus came into my life, I started feeling less content with each passing day and I started to feel worthy. Putting myself out there for people to see started to feel necessary and it started to feel like I had a purpose. #fearlesstribesisters

It wasn’t easy getting to this point in my life. Three years ago if you asked me if I would be posting blogs on the world wide web, my answer would have been hell to the nah, nah, nahhhhh! Sitting around a table full of women changed my perspective on how the world can be when you turn the lights on. The light of Jesus that is! I’ve never shared my story truly with anyone because I feared that I wasn’t good enough. I know… everyone feels that way. You’re right! But it affects everyone differently and it matters how it affects you.

The day I got baptized was a day that wasn’t expected. What I thought would be just a typical day turned out to be the day God gave me three women that blessed me more than I could have ever imagined. I attended a women’s retreat one weekend at a place called Rocky Creek Christian Retreat. It’s in the middle of the woods, no cellphone signal, no sound of the highways. Just you, the frogs and the peach of the Lord. A chest cold almost prevented me from being able to go, but I drugged myself for two days and slept it off the best I could. What was supposed to be a very small walk to see some flowing creek turned out to be a 2,000 mile okay 2 mile walk and just in case I forgot to mention, this was a hot Georgia day in the middle of the woods with water. It was HOT!!

There was a group of us ladies during that very long walk and I was falling behind the herd. That chest cold was kicking my butt and I was very out of shape. Two of the ladies stayed back with me and that was the start of two very special friendships. At the end of this hike through the jungle, one of them said to me, “See we weren’t lost, we were going the right way.” At that moment, my mouth opened, and I said, “Maybe that is what God has been trying to tell me. I may have been taking the long way in life, but I’ve always been going the right way.” Not really sure where that came from, but it was awesome! By George, I think I just found Jesus!

Then I made up my mind that I was getting baptized, that day… in the pond… That was the day I went down into the mud dirty but I came up clean. Two very special ladies were right there in the water with me as I got baptized and was my gift straight from God. He knew the road I was getting ready to go down would be harder than the one I just got off of and he knew I needed strong people in my life to keep my straight. He didn’t just give me two of them, he gave me an entire army of people who love & pray for me.

As a person that loves Jesus very dearly, I find myself in a daily struggle. There is always something that comes along daily that tests the Jesus in me. My daily commute use to be nothing but interstate. There is nothing like angry driving at 80 mph hour and have someone driving 60 in the left lane. If I had to touch my brakes on the highway, then you were in my way and I needed you to get over as quick as possible. If you didn’t, I bullied you out of my way. That is why I like SUV’s, they are scary when you see them hurling at you in the rear-view mirror. No explanation on why I was in such a hurry, showing up early to work was my thing. It was just pent up anger I was taking out on my fellow commuter.

My job was very stressful and my boss wasn’t easy to work for. The only good thing about it was that I made a lot of money. God blessed me with a new job that didn’t involve having to drive on the interstate and was just eight minutes down the road. The money wasn’t great but it gave me co-workers that love Jesus just as much as I do! My boss is very much awesome to work for because he loves Jesus too!

My bad days use to out weight my good days and then God put his hands on me. Now my good days are starting to out weight my bad ones. There was a moment recently that I fell to my knees and I said God please help me. I can’t do this alone… My nights were sleepless, my eyes were puffy and my appetite had vanished. Life wasn’t being very kind to me at the moment and it took everything I had not to curl up in a ball and disappear. The enemy had me all to himself and he was taking advantage of his time with me. He’d get me almost to the point of total control, I’d pick up my phone and use my call a friend lifeline. I find myself going through a season that is scary & very hard to understand. God told me I need to be still and let him do his thing.

When each day ends, I try to take a moment and just thank Jesus for getting me through it. Thank you Lord for helping me get through today! Life sucks some times and can be very unfair. Trying to remember what the grand prize is all this is all said and done is the only thing that gets me through most days. Recently, I got to stand next to my pond and remember the day I was cleansed by the blood of the lamb. I’ve walked many miles on my journey with God and I have a lot further to go but what I can say is I’m not where I need to be, but I’m not where I use to be.

#Godislove #iloveyoumore #Jesus

She is my favorite!

/ Just Leah / 3 Comments

Lord have mercy do I come from a line of hard-headed women! This picture is the first time since I don’t know when that all sisters were in a picture and smiling together… at the same time! That is three generations of Deslandes/Rousseau women right there. So, in my defense… I get it honestly!

I tell each one of my aunts that they are my favorite. Because they are, all in the own special way. Starting from left to right, I’m going to give you the cliff notes on each one of them because each one of my split personalities represents all of them.

My Aunt Joyce is the one that is always concerned about you, she will love you even when she doesn’t love herself. She will make sure you are taken care of before she takes care of herself. She taught me to always love first and cry later. The one thing I love most about her she’s always so happy to see you and it sure does make me happy to see her. She is one of my favorites!

Skip over two people and that is my mom. I’m going to get back to her in a second. The next lady is my Aunt Becky, she puts up a tough front and it kinda scares you a little but once you get past that part, she has such a creative and sophisticated brain. My favorite part about her is that she could give two hoots what you think about her because she knows she’s fabulous. She taught me all of that. She’s my favorite! *wink wink*

The next one over is my Aunt Donna! She is the photographer of the family and she taught me how to see the beauty in this world. When I was a little girl, my grandmother and I would go visit her. She’d take us on car rides through the mountain roads and she’d make me fruit smoothies. Not just any kind of fruit smoothie, the fruit came from the garden she had in the back yard. She taught me the significance in the things God put on this earth for us. She is my favorite too!

My Aunt Vivian is the next one over and she had the best songs for everything situation. “I can’t wait to get home to get my pajamas on.” She had a car that was a smaller version of a station wagon. Maybe some sort of hatch back type of car. I’m pretty sure it was some sort of family gathering and all us cousins piled up in her car. When you are a kid, it’s fun to sit in other spots of a moving vehicle and I had to share the hatch back part with one of my cousins. It started off fun but about an hour later I felt like the walls were closing in. The next morning, my Aunt Vivian made us maple brown sugar oatmeal, I dared my cousin to dip a Dorito in his oatmeal and eat it. Not only did he do it but he then dared me to eat one and it was actually pretty good! My aunt was always so fun to be around, she has such an outgoing personality. She will always be my favorite.

My Aunt Friztie is the last one in the picture. She taught me about Jesus and she was the nurturing one. I spent a lot of time with her as a kid because she was the mother of my cousin Jeremiah and the two of us were inseparable as kids. She was the strict, rule enforcer mom! But she did it with love and taught me discipline. Random story time… As kids, I spent a lot of summers at the lake with my cousin. My uncle drove this big Ford bronco and we use to love riding in the back. One particular day, Jeremiah and I were waiting impatiently in the back of the truck. It was time to go to the lake and to kill time we proceeded to just scream…. lol We weren’t screaming at anything in particular, it just felt like a time to just scream!

I’m assuming at this point that we were screaming loud enough that my aunt, uncle & cousin all came running out of the house like we were being murdered. Of course, at the time, I didn’t really think that far ahead and so it caught us off guard. We got in so much trouble… He had to go to his room, I had to go to the other room, and we had to sit & just wait… She put the fear in me that I was about to get my butt tore up and if you all knew my uncle, he had big ole hands and his spankings hurt. Anyways, so there I was… All scared waiting to get my butt tore up, praying to God that he doesn’t kill me. Here comes my Aunt with her serious mom face and she gave me the boy that cried wolf speech. Except her version ended with some kid that cried wolf and his legs got cut off by a lawn mower and when he screamed for help nobody came. (I can’t make this stuff up!) She my favorite for multiple reasons, but the biggest reason is she taught me how to tell stories that would get my future kids’ attention.

There is one more lady in that photo that taught me how to be me. She taught me how to stand up for myself, how to be strong, how to get through each day like it’s your last and how to go no matter what life throws at you. My mom was a single mother my entire life and she made it look easy. There were good days, there were bad days, but she has such a way about her that tells struggles to get on up the road. Things were not always easy on her and sometimes the struggles overwhelmed her. She knew she had me to take care of and I believe I was that inspiration for her to keep going as she was my inspiration to keep going with her. It has always and will always be me and her. She will always be my most favorite!

I represent each one of those women proudly and there isn’t a thing I’d change about any of them. They might not realize it but God used each one of them to show his love in different ways. No matter their differences or their stubbornness, the love of the Lord radiates through each of them. Throughout my walk with God, he has opened my eyes to so much I was missing out on. The biggest thing I’ve missed out on is love and because of Jesus, I feel it more & more everyday. God will always show up and show out! He never fails me.

#Godislove #Jesusismysavior #becauseofyou #Iloveyou

Itty bitty kitty!

/ Just Leah / 1 Comment
My little Lion of God

When God really wants to get your attention, he will do it in such a way that just makes you know he is real. What was supposed to be a typical day at Church, turned into me driving home with a very tiny kitten asleep on my lap. This little guy was carried into church in a shoe box and just about every woman, child & maybe even a few men went, “awwwww.” First glance at him and all I could think to myself was, “don’t look at him Leah. He’s tiny, cute and your husband will NEVER let you keep him.” That was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do was walk away from that tiny, sweet, defenseless face. Growing up, my mother and I always had animals. I love animals so much that I have a pet rat that was captured in a trap at a daycare center. I used to have pet rats and they are by far the coolest things ever. My husband knew I would make him rotten, so he brought him home to me. So, the point I’m trying to make is for me to just walk by a cute cuddly kitten begging for me to take him home was torture.

The sound booth is where I spend most of my Sundays and I have a great view of the entire sanctuary. The entire time I kept looking down at this adorable little baby and he needed me to be his new momma. He needed me and I needed him, somehow I was going to convince my husband that he needed a itty bitty lil kitty. Since service was going on and I obviously couldn’t leave the sound booth at that moment, I made a deal with myself. I said, “self… if that kitten doesn’t have a home by the end of the service you’re going to take him home.” Well that lasted all about five minutes, okay more like one minute and I sent a text to my daughter. The message read, “Go get the kitten.”

My daughter picked up her phone and she instantly jumped up with pure excitement. Ali is just like me when it comes to cute, soft, cuddly animals and she made a straight B-line to that box. The cat wasn’t for her of course but I needed her to help me, I needed to see how my husband would react when she walked back up with that oh so cute kitten in her arms. So I waited…. and I watched… I plotted…. Ali sat back down holding my future fur baby and without skipping a beat, Rick looks straight up at the sound booth with this look. Now I needed to buy some time until I could figure out how to make his furever home at my house, so I did what any person would do. I picked up my phone and sent him text stating that I already found him a home. Technically I wasn’t lying because I did find him a home…

 

On the way, I prayed the entire way home, Lord please let me have this cat. I need dis… This little guy was probably five weeks old and his mother was killed by a dog. He was a very healthy little baby but he still needed kitty milk. Instead of going straight to the store, I went home first so my husband could watch the itty bitty kitty for me while I sent to the store. This is where I put my complete trust in God and I’m here to say that my God has never failed me yet. Not only was my plan an absolute success, it was just living proof that if you have trust in the Lord then he will show up and show out.

In the twenty minutes I was gone at the store, this little guy completely showed out with his cuteness and had my husband eating out of his itty bitty lil paw. I may have won the battle at this point but I still had to win the war. My husband wasn’t going down without a fight and he put his gloves on. As the day went on, we were just causally hanging out in our bedroom and the kitten was being all cute running around on our bed. I just watched and observed the smiles that came across my husband’s face as this itty bitty kitty was being all itty bitty. I got him! He was hooked and I had to plan my next move perfectly.

Purfect!

So, I asked, “If he were to stay here, what would we name him?” Rick named him Ari. (R-reee). As you can see in the picture, I won the war too!

Now I know, you’re probably wondering what this has to do with God. Don’t worry, I am getting there! For some time now I have been going through what most would say, a season. Life had been feeling a little unfair and the enemy was coming at me from any direction he thought would get to me. I’ll admit that he came close a few times of winning. Too close…

My husband is a trucker and has been for almost a year. In the beginning, he got to come home a few times during the week. Then it got to a point where I would only see him during the weekends. Now I’m alone…

Being alone is not an issue for me. I grew up a only child, I didn’t really have a lot of friends and when that happens you tend to adapt to your surroundings. Entertaining myself is not an issue, when I was a little girl there was a spot in my grandma’s backyard that was all dirt. Cars was my absolute favorite toy, so I would carve out roads and dig tunnels. Hours would go by and I’m still having a good time.

Along the way something changed, and I started to like having people around. It felt good to be loved by people and to be loved by good Godly husband. He always knows where to find my keys, glasses, wallet, phone, shoes, pink cup, jacket & my mind when I can’t find them. Now I am forced to keep up with these things on my own. My short-term memory is so bad that if affects my short-term memory. My husband plays a huge role in my daily need to remember where I put my keys at. The struggle is real!

I missed him and he missed me. The enemy took advantage of that and I started to get use to being alone again. I started to get the, “I don’t care attitude” back. No one, not even my own husband knew what was going on inside my head. I carried a smile so bright on my face that I was told the love of Jesus shined all over me. When I came home to a empty house it tore me up. My son is gone, my daughter is a seventeen with a very active social circle & an Instagram and my husband is gone five days out of the week. It ate me alive… and I let it happen.

Then came along that itty bitty lil kitty. God knew I needed something to love and he gave me Ari. God also knew that putting a one pound ball of fur in my path would get my attention. Jesus has his arms around me at every second, minute, hour of the day and the enemy doesn’t want me to fill his love. He will taunt you & taunt you to the point that death seems like a better option than living. God is so mighty that he used something as small as Ari to show me that love is real & so is he!

This life wasn’t meant to be lived in any other way than hard. Even when I felt at times that my life was over and nothing will ever be okay, I still woke up the next morning. Even when I feared my power may get cut off, the bill always got paid. Even when I thought at times that my marriage may be over, I’d get reminded that I wouldn’t have anyone to find all my stuff when I lost it sitting in the same spot. Even though I come home to an empty house, he gave me a itty bitty little kitty to keep me occupied until my husband comes home.

God is always with you and even though you don’t know it. If a mustard seed can grow to be a big tree just imagine what he can do with your heart if you let your guard down for one split second. I’m just sayin’!

#ittybittykitty #Godissogoodyall #testimony #livelife #love #Jesus #Jesusismysavior

My little Lion of God

 

I’m back!

/ Just Leah / 8 Comments
Beginning of something beautiful.


Ever wonder why we exist? Have you ever just stopped, looked around and just thought to yourself, “What is my purpose?” About a year ago, I completely walked away from writing because I didn’t think it was really making a difference. Even though I had plenty of people saying how much they enjoyed reading my blogs, I still didn’t think I was really all that good at it. God called me to share my testimony and the excitement that overcame me was overwhelming to the point I was flooded with different ideas. I stayed faithful to it for exactly one year.

When the question, “Why did you stop writing?” came up. I couldn’t even give a solid answer for it. I blamed it on God by shrugging my shoulders and giving the excuse of, “Well, he’s not really giving me anything to write about.” What a lame excuse… God has been talking to me every day of my life and I just couldn’t sit still long enough to hear him. He was giving me all the love & attention I needed but my flesh wanted worldly approval. I needed to know that I was good enough.

Living in a world filled with judgement, attitude problems, jealously, lust, envy… It’s hard, it’s very hard. I stopped writing because I didn’t listen to God, I kept my testimony within closed quarters and I was afraid if I went any further with it then the world would judge me. Or was it that they wouldn’t judge me enough? I walk around with a very tough exterior but on the inside I feel like I can’t breathe.

Every single day, the enemy whispers in my ear, taunting me to speak out how unworthy I am so he can pick it up and run with it. “No one wants to be your friend, your kids think you failed them, your tears don’t matter, no point writing this blog because they all will just think you’re stupid.” Every day he tries to steal my joy and every day Jesus gives it back to me. My God will always prevail over evil.

There is a new struggle everyday and sometimes they can be tolerable, other times they can be so bad that the mere thought of getting out of bed is exhausting. If I didn’t have Jesus in my life then those struggles would completely consume me. Because I have Jesus in my life I tend to end my day with a simple, “Thank you Jesus for helping me get through this day.” Then I wake up fresh ready to fight! I’m ready to tell you that because of Jesus I got to see a sweet baby smile and I got to see my son smitten with his pretty new girlfriend. I got to witness my best friend throw her hands up in the air and praise Jesus. A group of people surrounded our Pastor and prayed for him and I got to witness all of it. I fought through that exhaustion and let Jesus take me by the hand so I could witness.

God wants us to witness, because if we witness the good in people and all the love that really is out there. Then we can take other people by the hand and let them witness too. Recently, a motorcycle group from some local churches went out to laundry mats and blessed people with a free load of laundry & prayer. I got to witness the smiles that came across faces on the blessers & the blessees. It was absolutely amazing and oh the love that filled that day. That is what Jesus is all about, witness it and then tell everyone you see about it.

Unfortunately, we live during a time that the news is only filled with hate. So much hate to be exact that we have to hate on all this hate that is spreading around… you know because we hate it… Not only do we hate it but we have to talk about how much we hate it too. It’s a vicious cycle really. You know what I did about it, I stopped listening to it. You want to talk about what you watched on the news, well I want to talk about how a group of people rolled up in a neighborhood with a huge grill, a foot ball, jump ropes and the love of Jesus in our hearts. I got to witness the joy of the Lord on children’s faces.

God is filled with so much love and grace. He’s not angry with us, he may be a little disappointed with us sometimes but he still loves us. We take his love and we love the next person. Once they stop being mad, then they will take their love and give it to the next person. It’s a loving cycle really…

#Jesusismysavior #thankyouforlovingme #ButGod #aintnohighlikeaholyghosthigh