Ever wonder why we exist? Have you ever just stopped, looked around and just thought to yourself, “What is my purpose?” About a year ago, I completely walked away from writing because I didn’t think it was really making a difference. Even though I had plenty of people saying how much they enjoyed reading my blogs, I still didn’t think I was really all that good at it. God called me to share my testimony and the excitement that overcame me was overwhelming to the point I was flooded with different ideas. I stayed faithful to it for exactly one year.
When the question, “Why did you stop writing?” came up. I couldn’t even give a solid answer for it. I blamed it on God by shrugging my shoulders and giving the excuse of, “Well, he’s not really giving me anything to write about.” What a lame excuse… God has been talking to me every day of my life and I just couldn’t sit still long enough to hear him. He was giving me all the love & attention I needed but my flesh wanted worldly approval. I needed to know that I was good enough.
Living in a world filled with judgement, attitude problems, jealously, lust, envy… It’s hard, it’s very hard. I stopped writing because I didn’t listen to God, I kept my testimony within closed quarters and I was afraid if I went any further with it then the world would judge me. Or was it that they wouldn’t judge me enough? I walk around with a very tough exterior but on the inside I feel like I can’t breathe.
Every single day, the enemy whispers in my ear, taunting me to speak out how unworthy I am so he can pick it up and run with it. “No one wants to be your friend, your kids think you failed them, your tears don’t matter, no point writing this blog because they all will just think you’re stupid.” Every day he tries to steal my joy and every day Jesus gives it back to me. My God will always prevail over evil.
There is a new struggle everyday and sometimes they can be tolerable, other times they can be so bad that the mere thought of getting out of bed is exhausting. If I didn’t have Jesus in my life then those struggles would completely consume me. Because I have Jesus in my life I tend to end my day with a simple, “Thank you Jesus for helping me get through this day.” Then I wake up fresh ready to fight! I’m ready to tell you that because of Jesus I got to see a sweet baby smile and I got to see my son smitten with his pretty new girlfriend. I got to witness my best friend throw her hands up in the air and praise Jesus. A group of people surrounded our Pastor and prayed for him and I got to witness all of it. I fought through that exhaustion and let Jesus take me by the hand so I could witness.
God wants us to witness, because if we witness the good in people and all the love that really is out there. Then we can take other people by the hand and let them witness too. Recently, a motorcycle group from some local churches went out to laundry mats and blessed people with a free load of laundry & prayer. I got to witness the smiles that came across faces on the blessers & the blessees. It was absolutely amazing and oh the love that filled that day. That is what Jesus is all about, witness it and then tell everyone you see about it.
Unfortunately, we live during a time that the news is only filled with hate. So much hate to be exact that we have to hate on all this hate that is spreading around… you know because we hate it… Not only do we hate it but we have to talk about how much we hate it too. It’s a vicious cycle really. You know what I did about it, I stopped listening to it. You want to talk about what you watched on the news, well I want to talk about how a group of people rolled up in a neighborhood with a huge grill, a foot ball, jump ropes and the love of Jesus in our hearts. I got to witness the joy of the Lord on children’s faces.
God is filled with so much love and grace. He’s not angry with us, he may be a little disappointed with us sometimes but he still loves us. We take his love and we love the next person. Once they stop being mad, then they will take their love and give it to the next person. It’s a loving cycle really…
#Jesusismysavior #thankyouforlovingme #ButGod #aintnohighlikeaholyghosthigh